Paul, I feel you buddy. I also feel many hearts and minds may understand where I am going with this. As “experienced” as you may pretend that you are: you are not. Depression, addiction and alcoholism join together to create a powerful force. When you sit on a “throne” and command people who are hurting, you take on a major responsibility. When you hurt inside and force your fix on a group of people that battle different problems, you immediately take on things that you can’t handle.
How many times do we watch people fail and justify that with power. I feel sadness to believe healing comes from control.
Numbers don’t lie. The best programs on the planet rely on alumni. The reason for that is because no one wants to disappoint another human being. When we have been let down by others, we feel it necessary to combat that with hurting another. That strategy will never work when we find ourselves responsible for the lives of many. Life has beaten the very core of others. Those people are my friends. I will put this very clear: if I see or hear of another relapse, I will not stop until the problem is fixed. Remember my goal: to help one person.